November – My Sister the Serial Killer

by Oyinkan Braithwaite

Nov 12 – Moon Palace

Nov 20 – Urban Growler


December – Once Upon a River

by Diane Setterfield

Dec 10 – Moon Palace

Dec 17 (TUE) – Urban Growler



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  • Quotes

    "And malt does more than Milton can To justify God's ways to man." —A. E. Housman

    "He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met." —Abraham Lincoln

    "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." —Abraham Lincoln

    "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." —Abraham Lincoln

    "This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop." —Alfred Hitchcock

    "The covers of this book are too far apart." —Ambrose Bierce

    "When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it." —Anatole France

    "You can cover a great deal of country in books." —Andrew Lang

    "Write a wise saying and your name will live forever." —Anonymous

    "High thoughts must have high language." —Aristophanes

    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." —Aristotle

    "Wear the old coat and buy the new book." —Austin Phelps

    "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." —Benjamin Franklin

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." —Benjamin Franklin

    "There can't be good living where there is not good drinking." —Benjamin Franklin

    "Who does not love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long." —Carl Worner

    "Many books require no thought from those who read them, and for a very simple reason; they made no such demand upon those who wrote them." —Charles Caleb Colton

    "No one who can read, ever looks at a book, even unopened on a shelf, like one who cannot. " —Charles Dickens

    "There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts." —Charles Dickens

    "Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort." —Charles Dickens

    "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness..." —Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

    "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers." —Charles W. Eliot

    "There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love." —Christopher Morley

    "He only employs his passion who can make no use of his reason." —Cicero

    "Neither can embellishments of language be found without arrangement and expression of thoughts, nor can thoughts be made to shine without the light of language." —Cicero

    "It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead." —Dame Rose Macaulay

    "I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." —Dave Barry

    "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." —Dave Barry

    "You can only be young once. But you can always be immature." —Dave Barry

    "Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking." —Dave Barry

    "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." —Dave Barry

    "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." —Dave Barry

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs." —David Daye

    "Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way around." —David Lodge (1935-). The British Museum Is Falling Down, 4, 1965 (from Random House Webster's Quotationary)

    "Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire." —David Rains Wallace

    "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt." —Dean Martin

    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " —Dean Martin

    "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." —Dean Martin

    "Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into." —Don Marquis

    "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." —Dorothy Parker

    "Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune." —Dr. Thomas Fuller

    "Don't join the book burners. Don't think you're going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed. Don't be afraid to go in your library and read every book." —Dwight D. Eisenhower

    "The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues." —Elizabeth Taylor

    "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." —Ernest Hemingway

    "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." —Ernest Hemingway

    "Your very silence shows you agree." —Euripides

    "Leave no stone unturned." —Euripides

    "SKY REMAINS DARK AS NIGHT PROCEEDS!" —First little major media figure, George Saunders, The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil

    "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." —Frank Lloyd Wright

    "A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author." —G. K. Chesterton

    "A room without books is like a body without a soul." —G. K. Chesterton

    "Always live your life with your biography in mind." —Gareth van Meer, "Special Topics In Calamity Physics" by Marisha Pessl

    "I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation." —George Bernard Shaw

    "Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad." —George Bernard Shaw

    "There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses." —George Bernard Shaw

    "All great truths begin as blasphemies." —George Bernard Shaw

    "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." —George Carlin

    "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." —George Carlin

    "I drink to make other people interesting." —George Jean Nathan

    "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." —Groucho Marx

    "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." —Groucho Marx

    "A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five." —Groucho Marx

    "Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough." —Groucho Marx

    "From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." —Groucho Marx

    "I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home." —Groucho Marx

    "I sent the club a wire stating: Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member." —Groucho Marx

    "She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon." —Groucho Marx

    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others." —Groucho Marx

    "After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations." —H. L. Mencken

    "Why don't we all just get a long-neck?" —Hank Williams, Jr.

    "College isn't the place to go for ideas." —Helen Keller

    "My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle." —Henny Youngman

    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." —Henny Youngman

    "Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them at all." —Henry David Thoreau

    "How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book." —Henry David Thoreau

    "How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live." —Henry David Thoreau

    "That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest." —Henry David Thoreau

    "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." —Henry David Thoreau

    "The only obligation to which in advance we may hold a novel, without incurring the accusation of being arbitrary, is that it be interesting." —Henry James

    "The love of learning, the sequestered nooks, And all the sweet serenity of books..." —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

    "Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?" —Henry Ward Beecher

    "It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over wine." —Heraclitus

    "Call me Ishmael." —Herman Melville, Moby Dick

    "Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely." —Hesketh Pearson

    "Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted." —Hesketh Pearson

    "The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken." —Homer

    "I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer." —Homer Simpson

    "All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer." —Homer Simpson

    "Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems." —Homer Simpson

    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." —Humphrey Bogart

    "Happiness is good health and a bad memory." —Ingrid Bergman

    "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." —J. R. R. Tolkien

    "I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence." —J. R. R. Tolkien

    "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." —J. R. R. Tolkien

    "All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost." —J. R. R. Tolkien

    "'I wish life was not so short,' he thought. 'Languages take such a time, and so do all the things one wants to know about.'" —J. R. R. Tolkien

    "Never judge a book by its movie." —J. W. Eagan

    "If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose." —Jack Handy

    "Two and two the mathematician continues to make four, in spite of the whine of the amateur for three, or the the cry of the critic for five." —James McNeill Whistler

    "Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do." —Jean-Paul Sartre

    "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." —Jerry Seinfeld

    "A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion." —Jim Parker

    "I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." —John Cage

    "No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer." —John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough

    "Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen." —John Steinbeck

    "Oh for a book and a shady nook..." —John Wilson

    "Life itself is a quotation." —Jorge Luis Borges

    "Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world." —Kaiser Wilhelm

    "He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know." —Lao-tzu

    "To know that you do not know is the best. To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease." —Lao-tzu

    "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain." —Lily Tomlin

    "Maybe Lucy's right...of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest." —Linus, in Charles Schulz's "A Charlie Brown Christmas"

    "The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." —Mark Twain

    "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain

    "Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge." —Mark Twain

    "Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't." —Mark Twain

    "Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." —Mark Twain

    "I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way." —Mark Twain

    "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." —Mark Twain

    "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know." —Mark Twain

    "In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination." —Mark Twain

    "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." —Mark Twain

    "It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech." —Mark Twain

    "Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it." —Mark Twain

    "Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand." —Mark Twain

    "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug." —Mark Twain

    "The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." —Mark Twain

    "The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause." —Mark Twain

    "Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." —Mark Twain

    "Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody." —Mark Twain

    "When in doubt, tell the truth." —Mark Twain

    "Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform." —Mark Twain

    "It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them." —Mark Twain

    "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read." —Mark Twain

    "What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before." —Mark Twain

    "I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself." —Marlene Dietrich

    "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass." —Martin Mull

    "Now we sit through Shakespeare in order to recognize the quotations." —Orson Welles

    "There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written." —Oscar Wilde

    "At twilight, nature is not without loveliness, though perhaps its chief use is to illustrate quotations from the poets." —Oscar Wilde

    "Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter." —Oscar Wilde

    "I am not young enough to know everything." —Oscar Wilde

    "Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong." —Oscar Wilde

    "Why was I born with such contemporaries?" —Oscar Wilde

    "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." —Oscar Wilde

    "Work is the curse of the drinking classes." —Oscar Wilde

    "My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's." —Oscar Wilde

    "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." —Oscar Wilde

    "But what is the difference between literature and journalism? ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all." —Oscar Wilde

    "It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art." —Oscar Wilde

    "The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius." —Oscar Wilde

    "The truth is rarely pure and never simple." —Oscar Wilde

    "Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." —P. J. O'Rourke

    "Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil." —Plato

    "The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men." —Plato

    "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." —Plato

    "He was a wise man who invented beer." —Plato

    "It were not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinions that makes horseraces." —Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

    "In the highest civilization, the book is still the highest delight. He who has once known its satisfactions is provided with a resource against calamity." —Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet." —Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints." —Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." —Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it." —Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues." —Rene Descartes

    "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. " —Robert Benchley

    "To be a book-collector is to combine the worst characteristics of a dope fiend with those of a miser." —Robertson Davies

    "The sum of the matter is, the people drink because they wish to drink." —Rudolph Brand

    "A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return." —Salman Rushdie

    "No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut." —Sam Rayburn

    "I read part of it all the way through." —Samuel Goldwyn

    "I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead." —Samuel Goldwyn

    "I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs." —Samuel Goldwyn

    "Let's have some new cliches." —Samuel Goldwyn

    "Spare no expense to save money on this one." —Samuel Goldwyn

    "Television has raised writing to a new low." —Samuel Goldwyn

    "Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world." —Samuel Johnson

    "What is an epigram? A dwarfish whole, its body brevity, and wit its soul." —Samuel Taylor Coleridge

    "Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought." —Sir Arthur Helps

    "Read not to contradict and confute...nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider." —Sir Francis Bacon

    "No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit." —Sir Frederick G. Banting

    "Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all." —Sir Winston Churchill

    "From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put." —Sir Winston Churchill

    "It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations." —Sir Winston Churchill

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." —Sir Winston Churchill

    "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." —Socrates

    "I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world." —Socrates

    "The unexamined life is not worth living." —Socrates

    "[I recommend] bread, meat, vegetables and beer." —Sophocles' philosophy of a moderate diet

    "Do I need to tell you that prison makes Sodom and Gomorrah look like Minneapolis and St. Paul by comparison?" —The Agent, "Survivor" by Chuck Palahniuk

    "Enlighten the people, generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like spirits at the dawn of day." —Thomas Jefferson

    "I cannot live without books." —Thomas Jefferson

    "The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers." —Thomas Jefferson

    "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." —Thomas Jefferson

    "If an idea's worth having once, it's worth having twice." —Tom Stoppard

    "It is better to be quotable than to be honest." —Tom Stoppard

    "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." —Tom Waits

    "I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach." —Upton Sinclair

    "The multitude of books is making us ignorant." —Voltaire

    "A witty saying proves nothing." —Voltaire

    "Anything too stupid to be said is sung." —Voltaire

    "Judge of a man by his questions rather than by his answers." —Voltaire

    "Prejudice is opinion without judgement." —Voltaire

    "The secret of being boring is to say everything." —Voltaire

    "You despise books; you whose lives are absorbed in the vanities of ambition, the pursuit of pleasure or indolence; but remember that all the known world, excepting only savage nations, is governed by books." —Voltaire

    "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." —Voltaire

    "Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too." —Voltaire

    "I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy." —W. C. Fields

    "Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water." —W. C. Fields

    "Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered." —W. H. Auden

    "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." —W.C. Fields

    "What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? " —W.C. Fields

    "Everybody has to believe in something...I believe I'll have another drink." —W.C. Fields

    "Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for." —Will Rogers

    "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." —Will Rogers

    "Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people." —William Butler Yeats

    "My words fly up, my thoughts remain below: Words without thoughts never to heaven go." —William Shakespeare

    "Knowing I lov'd my books, he furnish'd me From mine own library with volumes that I prize above my dukedom." —William Shakespeare

    "It was as if I'd found a way to live as a song or a film or a book." —Win Duncan, "Confessions of a Memory Eater" by Pagan Kennedy

    "Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." —Winston Churchill

    "Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop." —Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944

    "His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy." —Woody Allen

    "I am at two with nature." —Woody Allen

    "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying." —Woody Allen

    "I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." —Woody Allen

    "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me." —Woody Allen

    "It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more." —Woody Allen

    "Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness." —Woody Allen

    "You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." —Woody Allen